louise lawler


louise lawler

an unordered/disordered list of things i worry about: a poem

is my joint pain arthritic?

am i brushing too little? too much? am i grinding my teeth? is that why my jaw hurts? is my tooth enamel wearing down from vomit or coke or sugar?


being alone/being with lots of people but feeling alone

other peoples’ etiquette on public transport


repetitive behaviours in public (am i displaying them?/that person is displaying them and it’s making me anxious)

why are my eyes puffy? are my kidneys functioning?

caffeine intake

what if i get to 30 and have such a seriously dysfunctional body i can’t play?


do i have cancer?

noticing prime numbers

chewing even numbers/ALL in simple time or ALL in compound time signature


what is happening to all the planes?

having crippling anxiety



Sasha Waltz, Dido & Aeneas (2005)



Sasha Waltz, Dido & Aeneas (2005)

(Source: sirilaf, via omyt)

soundtrack: FKA twigsZZZ

italics facial exploration slash vanity FAIRRRRR

amourmalade DATE ME

amourmalade DATE ME

pill/weather report

aaaaahhhh today was not a good day

today started bad then got good then got bad again

today started overcast then the sun came out and now it’s gonna rain i’m telling you

that’s not a metaphor dude i have washing on the line

or maybe it is a metaphor like maybe i have THINGZ that need to dry

like maybe i gotta get some AIR

whatever man today started bad then got good then got bad like ternary form or a burger but i don’t want to talk about either of those things don’t make me! i’m tired!

but i bet my aura is SIMPLY glowing with come-down jitters that are scrubbing the edges of this little box away maybe this earthy red will erode down to willow tree roots

maybe i can scrub your skincells outta here i thought i’d wiped you away one two three FOUR times already (like the number of syllables in your name) that’s not the dna i want here you know

i gotta get some air

i gotta get some air

today started and finished bad and i’m jittery and scatty but remember when i was in ecstasy oh BOY this aura was green like a smoooooth apple and those lights were so good! i gotta get some air like that air back there because all your dna in this air here isn’t good for my durry lungs

ugh today finished bad but at least i didn’t have to look at all four syllables of you and think about those four times the dna wasn’t yours and how i don’t actually owe you anything but you make me feel like i do because your damn dna is in my home and syphons anxiety into my ears at night

i gotta get some air


Jean-Baptiste MondinoMan Looking at the Origin of the World


Jean-Baptiste Mondino
Man Looking at the Origin of the World

(via sumere)